Coaching Blog Archives • Page 3 of 13 • Living to Lead

Five Things Leaders Should Know about Coaching

August 29, 2018 By Dave Ferguson Leave a Comment

There is a lot of talk these days about companies attempting to establish a coaching culture in their organizations.

Many are training their leaders in coaching to integrate the coaching into their organizations. Some coaching and leadership companies have actually developed “train the coach” or “coach the coach” programs to facilitate some of this.

Being an executive leadership coach, I am all for leaders being taught how to coach their teams. However, I have seen some of the programs, and they go against some of my deep beliefs around coaching.

Let me share with you just a few myths on coaching, and then you can decide the route that is best for you and your team.

A coach must be an expert in a certain industry.

Nothing could be further from the truth. If you hire an industry expert to coach you, all you will get is the best practices for your industry. That sounds a lot like consulting to me.

I have and do coach in many industries, and none of my coaching is about the company widget. It is about you as the leader, other people, your organization, your vision, what you are thinking, and where you would like to go.

A coach has to be in control.

When you use a guidance system while driving, is it in control of the car or are you? The same goes with coaching. A good coach guides the process; they don’t control it. The coaching client should drive the agenda, while being open to questions about thoughts, challenges, and more.

A coach can fix your problems.

Believe that one, and I have some property in the Everglades to sell to you.

Let me be very clear, coaching is not about “fixing” people.

Treating people as though they are broken or wrong is judgment at its worst. I will agree, we all need some fine tuning, but one person’s “broken” could be another person’s “fix.” Sure, people who get stuck and are being held back by limiting beliefs can benefit from coaching; but you don’t want to reserve all your coaching budget for what you see as your most challenging people.

Get coaches for your middle and top talent. A good coach will stretch their talent and capabilities.

A coach has to be perfect.

Well, let me just say, if that was true, I wouldn’t be a coach; and you certainly wouldn’t be reading this article.

What exactly is perfect anyway? I’ve never seen it or met it. Have you?

A coach should be trained, experienced, and recommended.

A coach has to be liked all the time.

Now, that one is funny. Don’t get me wrong. I love my clients, and most of the time, they love me (I think); but it is not my job to make my clients happy. I am a coach, not a clown.

When you challenge peoples’ thoughts, actions, inactions, communication, etc., there are going to be days you are not liked much.

I remember coaching a professional athlete who owned several businesses. He fired and hired me back (usually the next day) more times than I can count. All in all, we worked together for about five years.

If and when you make the decision to add coaching to your leadership platform, be prepared to change the way you look at people, situations, challenges, opportunities, and more.

You will start to see your role as a leader differently.

You will go from constantly feeling like you need to have all the answers, to engaging people with questions that help them discover the answers they seek.

This is what true coaching is all about. Whether you are seeking to train your leaders to coach or to be coached, I would welcome a discussion about the coaching possibilities for your organization and how the approach would benefit you and your team.

If I can be of help in this regard, contact me.

Dave Ferguson is “The Leaders’ Coach”, an internationally recognized executive leadership coach, speaker, facilitator, and author. Are you interested in talking to Dave about coaching or having Dave speak to inspire and motivate your team? “ASK COACH DAVE” at 704-907-0171 or at Dave@AskCoachDave.com.

Leadership: Should You Be Selfish or Selfless?

August 15, 2018 By Dave Ferguson 1 Comment

There’s a common conception out there – merited in some cases and falsely assumed in others – that those who lead only care about themselves.

In Boss or Leader, this type of selfishness would be a “Boss” indicator. And though it is not true of a good leader, it is pervasive enough to have stereotyped leadership as being all about the leader, with little regard to the success of his or her team.

I’d like to eradicate that problem from its roots.

Are you a selfish or a selfless leader?

Definitions of these two words indicate the difference between the two comes down to whom you care about most.

To be clear, we each have both these traits. No one is truly altruistic. Selflessness is about having less self, but not totally losing yourself in the process. It is about balance.

As leaders, we must practice selflessness and beware of decisions and actions based on selfish motives.

How can you test your motives in order to keep “self” in balance?

“Selfish” indicates you are most concerned about yourself – your image, performance, and desires.

When faced with a decision, is your first thought, “What’s in it for me?” This is such a common trait that it has its own acronym these days: WIIFM. Do your people see you as a WIIFM leader?

When your principles are tested, do you think, “How will this make me look?” or “What will I lose if I stand firm on values?”

When it comes to setting goals for your organization, is your decision swayed by your own personal goals and desires instead of what is best for the company and its employees?

“Selflessness” stems from being more concerned about others than you are about yourself.

When faced with a decision, is your first thought, “How will this help the company and people involved – employees, stockholders, and customers?” Is this a win-win-win situation for everyone involved, or just you as the leader?

When your principles are tested, do you stand by them, no matter the cost?

When setting goals, are you willing to do what is best for your company and your people, even if it is not best for your own personal bank account?

Years ago, there was a story about a business owner whose employees had done exemplary work. As a result, his company was awarded a major contract. This golden goose was the one contract that could have sealed his wealth for the rest of his life. He could have taken the proceeds and retired. Instead, he split the proceeds with every single employee in the company. He was a great example of a selfless leader.

Now you might think he lost a great deal by being selfless in this instance; but his actions toward his people gained him even more loyalty and respect. And his company went on to garner even more high-end contracts because of the reputation of the owner and his people.

Who is a stronger leader – a selfish person or a selfless person?

Many think a selfless leader is weak – that they simply give in to the will of their people.

This could not be farther from the truth. It takes strength to make difficult, unbiased decisions. It takes character to overcome the urge to make those decisions with less regard for self and more regard for the organization and its people.

It takes strength to stand on principles as well, and to pay the costs that come with doing so. In actuality, being a selfless leader takes more strength than being a selfish leader because it requires that we go against our natural human nature, which draws us to protect our own interests, even at the detriment of others.

Being a selfish leader is easy.

You only have one person to please and one person to look out for…YOU. But if you have ever had to get into shape, you know that “easy” does nothing for you. In fact, “easy” is how you got out of shape in the first place!

Have you ever had someone say, with regard to a meeting, “I will be there at 1:30-ish?”

What does that mean?

It means you will likely be waiting past 1:30 p.m. It means they are not sure or can’t commit to a specific time. It means their plans are somewhat undefined.

The word “self-ish,” has similar connotation. It means you are not fully committed to someone or something. It means you are undefined and uncertain.

This is that root of which I spoke.

Selfish leadership very often stems from uncertainty and lack of commitment. While it may appear to be the stronger position, it is, ironically, the weaker one.

The real reason leaders become the subject of gossip around the proverbial water cooler is rooted in selfish leadership – and selfish leadership is centered on self, instead of others; position instead of personal connection; and weakness instead of strength.

Effective leaders genuinely care about and are supportive of employee success. They engage and connect with their teams.

They are principled.

They are selfless.

Will you make the choice to be a selfless leader?

Five Ways the Best Leaders Connect

August 1, 2018 By Dave Ferguson Leave a Comment

It is the source of common frustration: a bad cell phone or Wi-Fi connection.

When this happens, you can’t hear the other party clearly. You each waste precious time moving around randomly, and asking, “Can you hear me now?”

Conversations are fragmented. The message conveyed may not be the message received.

A bad connection can lead to missed appointments, wasted time, miscommunication, misunderstandings, and an overall impact on productivity. No wonder a bad connection is frustrating!

This is what happens when a leader has a bad connection.

When we as leaders do not clearly connect with our people, it creates frustration for everyone involved, and it impacts results.

The good news is, you can restore the connection by following the example of those who connect well.

Here are five ways the best leaders connect.

They prepare themselves.

Good connection starts from within. The best leaders take time to connect well internally, with themselves. They also seek outside coaching and mentorship to stay sharp.

It is easy to perceive that everyone else is the problem, and this inward-outward growth approach helps the leader gain full perspective. Most find it easy to see problems with others, but overlook areas wherein they need to improve. The most successful leaders recognize they must understand, prepare, and correct themselves, in order to establish the best connection with others.

They connect well with others.

This can be a challenge for many in leadership positions. Unless conscious effort is made on the part of the leader to connect, a position can be a barrier to connection. As we talk about in The Leader’s Ladder workshops, being appointed to a leadership position is a first rung, but it does not have the impact that comes with higher rungs.

Climbing requires effort on the part of the leader, and those efforts are all about making great connections with others.

Beyond its effect on the leader personally, actively connecting with the team leads each team member higher as well. This is leadership development, which is yet a higher rung on The Leader’s Ladder.

The best leaders ask great questions, listen, and show they care about others. They strive to find common values or interests that connect them deeper. A team that has a common vision aligned by common values, where a leader is effectively orchestrating connection, is a winning team.

They build trust.

Trust, as a verb, means “to believe.”

When you believe in something or someone, you have confidence in them.

To build trust, leaders must be believable so those who follow will have confidence in their ability to keep their word, do their part, and follow through on expectations set.

The best leaders…CARE.

Clarify who they are from within
Are sincere in their reactions
Remain open to feedback
Ensure their actions match their words

They manage conflict.

If you have worked with people for even a short time, you know that nothing goes as smoothly as you would like when interacting with people. The best leaders embrace this, knowing that some tension can be healthy for a team. They also know it must be monitored and guided.

When a conflict arises, these leaders don’t hesitate to jump in and make sure morale and productivity are not adversely affected by it. They open up communication, and make sure that everyone involved in the conflict has a voice. And they guide the individuals in bringing solutions that fit the goals and restore the team to singleness of purpose.

They merge the team.

The best leaders know that a team of individuals who work well together will be more productive.

They find ways to constantly connect the team members to each other, the mission, the vision, and the results needed. They look for ways to cultivate relationships within and outside their team.

The right connections, when merged to work in sync with each other, have the potential to create phenomenal results.

As a leader, do YOU have a clear connection – with yourself, your team, and your mission, vision, and goals?

The choice is yours. You can have fragmented connections that produce less than stellar results, or you can have crystal clarity and connection that produces results that extend well beyond your expectations.

The LOYALTY Formula

July 18, 2018 By Dave Ferguson Leave a Comment

It was a tough quarter…again. Sales were down, and expenses were high. One facility required major remediation in order to get back into compliance, a fact which only further exacerbated the problems the company had been having for some time.

At a time when strong leadership was needed to turn the ship around, the CEO was disconnected. He was in his newly acquired office having thousands of dollars of custom cabinetry installed the day a division of over 300 employees got the pink slip.

When his assistant asked what he planned to do about the numbers, he said, “What do you expect me to do?”

It should come as no surprise that within a year, the entire company was dissolved, and thousands of other employees were out of work as well.

Throughout the process, the CEO was questioned as to what was going on and what he planned to do about it. He blamed everything and everyone – from current events, to competition, to stockholders, to his own management team.

But he failed to accept responsibility for his own actions – or more accurately, a lack thereof.

As a result, he essentially sealed his fate and the company’s as well.

What he didn’t realize was that, just outside his door was a powerful team who could have helped him save the company. But he had failed to engage and connect with his management team and his employees. They had entrusted him with their livelihoods, and he let them down.

One of the 11 essential needs of employees is Loyalty.

It is knowing that leadership “has your back” as they expect you to have theirs. Loyalty generates the kind of security in a company that makes everyone want to succeed, not just for themselves, but for all involved.

And this leader didn’t have it.

How can you as a leader exemplify and inspire LOYALTY with your team?

Listen!

First and foremost, listen to your people at all levels. A good leader will purposely get to know his or her people well enough for them to offer honest feedback and share ideas. If you have a suggestion box, by all means, read the suggestions and act on those which would be of benefit to the company. Honor your people by simply listening, and they will honor you by letting you know if there is something that needs your attention.

Own Responsibility

It is easy to blame others when things go wrong; but a truly effective leader will take responsibility. If an employee makes a mistake, yes, they should be accountable. But the leader should also be accountable for helping the employee evaluate and remedy the situation. The old adage that “everything rises and falls on leadership” has stood the test of time for a reason.

Yield the Floor

Contrary to popular belief, you as the leader are not expected to have all the answers. This should come as a relief to many. The best leaders surround themselves with experts in diverse areas. If there is something you don’t know as a leader, tap into the power of your team and yield the floor to an expert. You will be glad you did! Not only will this solve your problem…you will also gain a bit of that person’s wisdom as well.

Ask Forgiveness

Here’s a news flash – leaders are not perfect. Problems come when we pretend to be. The truth is, we are all learning how to lead together. If you make a mistake, don’t know an answer, or handle a situation in less than stellar fashion, own up to it. Admit it, ask forgiveness, and move forward in a better direction. Many leaders don’t want their people to know they are fallible. But acknowledging that you are helps your people to be transparent and growing leaders as well.

Leave Your Office

It is easy to get trapped in a corner office. People come to see you. Phone calls ring in. Paperwork lands on your desk. These are all things that can keep you behind closed doors when, at times, you need to be out and about. Take time each day to meet a new employee or to go out with another business leader or mentor. As that show, Undercover Boss, reveals: you learn a lot about your company when you leave your office.

Trust

Trust is hard for many leaders. It means you are placing some part of your success in the hands of others, and that is a point of fear. But the thing about trust is that it works both ways. If you hire good people and empower them to do their work well, then trust them to carry out their responsibilities, they will more often than not surprise you with their level of trustworthiness. It is not as much about them earning your trust (as is the common thinking on this matter), but about you trusting them first.

Yoke Up with Your Team

There are times when all hands are needed on deck. You have no doubt been on teams where everyone is scrambling to meet the leader’s deadline – canceling their evening plans to make sure the work gets done. And the leader saunters out of the office at 3:00 p.m. to get a haircut. What kind of a message does this send to the team? A good leader will roll up their sleeves and dive in to help when needed so everyone can leave at a decent hour.

These small habits, regularly engaged, build loyalty. They let your team know you value them, and in turn, they value you.

Do you want a team that “has your back?”

There’s a very simple solution…

“Have theirs.”

Five Excuses People Use for Not Leading

July 4, 2018 By Dave Ferguson Leave a Comment

One of the questions I am often asked is, “Can everyone be a leader?”

My answer is always a resounding, “YES!”

That doesn’t mean everyone will be in a leadership position in an organization with a team of people to lead. What I mean is that everyone can learn more about leadership and learn how to lead themselves – and possibly others – well.

As we dive deeper into these conversations, I usually start to hear excuses as to why they believe they can’t be a leader.

Here are a few of the excuses I hear most often.

1. I am not in a leadership position.

You don’t have to be assigned a position to be a leader. Leadership begins with leading yourself well.

This is essentially a three-part process:

You begin with knowing your values and aligning them with what you do daily. This first step is foundational to everything else you do.
Then you develop a vision for yourself, and start the journey of leading yourself towards it.
Along the journey, you invite people who share your values and have a similar vision.

2. I am an introvert.

So am I. Yes, you heard me. I have many tendencies of an introvert. Sure, I know how to function as an extrovert, but that is completely out of my comfort zone.

I find that if you are passionate enough about what you want to accomplish, you can muster the skills and talent to lead people to share in the pursuit of those goals.

The bigger the vision, the more uncomfortable we must become in order to bring it to realization. Vision is outside our comfort zone. Otherwise, it would be our current reality. Push to expand your comfort zone…yes, even if you are an introvert.

3. I am not good with people.

I once had someone in a leadership position tell me, “I used to like people, but people have ruined that for me.”

Dealing with people can be challenging. I get it. I’m sure many a person has said that about me.

Don’t let the challenge stop you from making a difference in peoples’ lives.

Most people will accept the role of a follower rather easily. Use that as an advantage – not for your own personal gain – but to lead them to become leaders themselves. Be a leader who turns followers into leaders.

4. I am not influential.

Influence is developed over time, so you can start anytime. I have never met a person who hasn’t influenced someone or been influenced by someone. Good or bad, everyone has some level of influence.

Who have you influenced? Who has influenced you?

Influence is really just getting people to do something they haven’t done or tried before. Used correctly, influence can help people grow.

5. I don’t know how to lead.

This excuse is one of the easiest to remedy. There are resources everywhere to help you. There are thousands of books on leadership. In fact, I have written one called Boss or Leader. I have a list of recommended leadership books that I have found to be impactful. Check them out here.

Read, learn, find a mentor, follow seasoned leaders, practice, and repeat.

Knowing how to lead is a matter of learning and habit. You can learn, and you can practice good leadership habits.

There are many ways to influence others, and the world needs people who can influence others in a good manner. There are opportunities all around us to lead others, and opportunities within us to lead ourselves.

If you have used one of the excuses from this list, consider that your starting point to become a better leader. Face the excuse and put it in its place.

You can do this.

And in fact, if you are going to reach your full potential in life and business, you must overcome these excuses in order to lead yourself and others well.

Let me share with you just a few myths on coaching, and then you can decide the route that is best for you and your team.

A coach must be an expert in a certain industry.

A coach has to be in control.

A coach can fix your problems.

A coach has to be perfect.

A coach has to be liked all the time.