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The Art of Working a Room – Part 2

September 4, 2013 By Dave Ferguson Leave a Comment

Our second step is to prepare. While the details will be different from event to event, the basics of what we need to prepare are the same.

First, think about what you have in common with the others who will be there.
Knowing the common ground will provide the topic for you to start a conversation. Commonality builds rapport. It is the foundation to relationships.

Second, plan and practice a self-introduction.
You want to state your name, possibly what you have in common with others there and something interesting that might spark conversation.  Or consider a tag line to tell who you are and a way to remember you. Your self-intros will vary from event to event.

Third, be prepared for small talk.
The experts suggest having at least 3 topics of conversation ready at all times that you can have with anyone. If you don’t read a daily newspaper, make a commitment today to do so. It’s a great resource for small talk. You don’t have to read it cover to cover. Just the headlines and one article per section would be a great start. If really pressed for time, the first couple of paragraphs in an article will give you the who and what.

Now you are ready to head to the event.
When you arrive and enter the room, do just that, enter. Don’t hover at the door. If there are name tags, always put the tag on your right side. This puts your name directly in the line of sight when you shake someone’s hand. They don’t have to try and sneak a glance to the left side.

Scope the room and decide where to start.
Perhaps you decide to approach a single person. Casually walk up, make eye contact, and introduce yourself. Or perhaps you see a group that appears to be enjoying themselves. Position yourself at the perimeter and give non-verbal feedback to the conversation such as a smile or a nod of the head. Wait for a verbal cue or eye contact before joining in.

With this knowledge, your skill in working a room will be a matter of practice, practice, practice. Opportunities to practice abound for most of us. When you go to your dentist appointment and find yourself with others in the waiting room, when you take your dog to play at the pet park, when you go to any weekly meetings you have. Just remember to shake off those obstacles, prepare by thinking of the common ground, have your self-intro ready, and a few pieces of small talk in mind. Then take a deep breath and go for it!

Enrich your life by learning and enjoying the art of working a room. I certainly plan to continue to!

The Art of Working a Room – Part 1

August 28, 2013 By Dave Ferguson Leave a Comment

Speaking is an art and therefore as speakers we must deliver a relevant, engaging, and entertaining talk to our audience. One mistake I see many speakers make is one I always strive to avoid.  I arrive early, introduce myself and chat with the people in the room. By “working the room” prior to speaking, the sea of faces are no longer completely unfamiliar, I gain insight into what they need, and it helps lower any anxiety and nervousness I might have. What a fabulous idea, right?

Now the reality of what I just said…walk into a room, go up to complete strangers and begin talking. Is there anything scarier? According to the Stanford University of Shyness Clinic, 80% of adults identified themselves as shy in 1980. By 2011, this increased to 95%. Based on that statistic, I’d say most people are not comfortable striking up conversation with a stranger.

Working a room is a social skill that can enrich both our personal and business lives. It is a precursor to networking, vitally important to those who own their own businesses.  Yet most of us do not have this skill. Fortunately, it’s a skill we can learn and develop.     Here’s what I recommend to those brave enough to stretch:

First, we need to be aware of the obstacles that contribute to our discomfort. The experts agree there are 5 basic obstacles to overcome. Most of these are socially taught.

  1. Don’t talk to strangers. We learned this as a child and probably went on to teach the same lesson. But we aren’t children anymore. For an adult, the key factor to consider when speaking to a stranger is the environment. Striking up a conversation with someone in the grocery line is completely different than while taking the subway at midnight and not another soul is in sight.
  2. Wait to be properly introduced. It would be great to always have a host or greeting committee to make those introductions for us but it is not realistic.
  3. Don’t be pushy or aggressive. It’s impolite. Being direct does not necessarily mean being pushy. You can approach someone and introduce yourself in a friendly, non-obtrusive manner.
  4. Better safe than sorry. The old fear of rejection. We put our ego on the line when we approach a stranger. We are vulnerable. Not everyone is going to be open to chatting with us.
  5. Discomfort with small talk. We think to ourselves, “I don’t know what to say,so I’m better off saying nothing at all.”

Aware of the obstacles, you can now choose to do differently. In a world where face-to-face conversations are fewer and fewer due to technology, it is imperative we shed these old world beliefs.  They no longer serve us.

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